


phantom thieves are phantom gays

by magicianarcanum



Category: Persona 5
Genre: F/F, M/M, OC insert, Other, akiren is referred to as both akira and ren in this, because my friends told me to, chatfic, do i have other fics i could be working on?? Yes, groupchat fic, if you dont like ocs dont read lmao, there will be an explanation I Promise, will i work on them????? No
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-12-27 03:23:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18295847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicianarcanum/pseuds/magicianarcanum
Summary: #chicken-nugget-discoursehewwo bot[BOT]welcome to hell,@eat my existential dread!!broke and nuggetlesswhomst





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> akira - sick of ur bullshit // evading the law  
> ryuji - broke and nuggetless  
> ann - useless lesbian  
> futaba - hacker voice im in // rat is short for ratthew  
> makoto - mom friend  
> kagami - eat my existential dread // fuccing gremlin / cool kid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> akira - sick of ur bullshit // evading the law  
> ryuji - broke and nuggetless  
> ann - useless lesbian  
> futaba - hacker voice im in // rat is short for ratthew  
> makoto - mom friend  
> kagami - eat my existential dread // fuccing gremlin / cool kid

_@eat my existential dread_

 

**eat my existential dread**

[unknown_1.png](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NfCHY5TyWKuk_mrrTFBIv31J_lqXlr3x/view)

 

**sick of ur bullshit**

ble a se,,, why ar e y ou doi ng th i s

 

**eat my existential dread**

you kno why

 

**sick of ur bullshit**

ughhhHHH

why do u wanna meet those fuccin IDIOTS

 

**eat my existential dread**

i gotta make sure they kno that i am The Superior Friend

\+ i wanna make sure theyre good enough for u

 

**sick of ur bullshit**

UGHHHHHHH

 

**eat my existential dread**

ill fuccin spam u w these pictures

ill hack ur fuccin phone

 

**sick of ur bullshit**

fine ho

 

**existential dread**

mwahaha

 

**sick of ur bullshit**

shut the FUCL up

 

_#chicken-nugget-discourse_

 

 **hewwo bot** [BOT]

welcome to hell, _@eat my existential dread_!!

 

**broke and nuggetless**

whomst

 

**eat my existential dread**

hehehehe

[unknown_3.png](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1a6sTHq0npOGiY2wYAIDwy2FLLnJdmOxs/view)

 

**evading the law**

HARUNA I WILL FU CCI NG MU  R D E R Y O U

 

**eat my existential dread**

HEHEHEHE

[unknown.png](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xAOjHK3ex_e_TsWFQPCVkcP2TmtlBnrQ/view)

 

**hewwo bot**

oh, _@eat my existential dread_ has perished. goodbye!

 

_@eat my existential dread_

 

**eat my existential dread**

REN REN IM GOI G TO FU CKING E N D Y O U

 

**sick of ur bullshit**

im going to end YOU

this is ur own fault

youve done this to urself

 

**eat my existential dread**

REN REN B LE A SE

W wai t

I CAN JUST HACK INTO THE SERVER YO

 

**sick of ur bullshit**

FU C K

 

_#chicken-nugget-discourse_

 

 **hewwo bot** [BOT]

welcome to hell, _@eat my existential dread_!!

 

**broke and nuggetless**

again, WHOMST?????????

 

**eat my existential dread**

hacker voice im in

 

**useless lesbian**

who????

 

**evading the law**

kagami bls stop being Ominous

 

**eat my existential dread**

absolutely Not

also hello!! im kagami and im here to make sure yall r treating ren ren rite

 

**broke and nuggetless**

r..ren ren?????

 

**evading the law**

this is my friend kagami shes a fuccin DUM B AS S

dont listen to her she just doesnt want me to have friends

 

**eat my existential dread**

LIAR i just wanna make sure u got Good Friends

 

**evading the law**

hmmmmm

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

yall so fuccin NOISY

o? new person?????????

 

**eat my existential dread**

ya

it me

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

i see

im futaba nice to meet you ig

 

**eat my existential dread**

same hat u seem p neat

 

**evading the law**

my worst fear... coming true...............

 

**broke and nuggetless**

im ryuji im akiras bf

 

**eat my existential dread**

boyfriend?????????????

  
**broke and nuggetless**

ya??

 

**eat my existential dread**

REN WHAT THE FU CK

WHY??????????? DIDN TYOU T EL L M E

 

**evading the law**

you never asked??????

 

**eat my existential dread**

BU L L SH IT

AS MY BEST FRIEND UR LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO TELL ME

 

**evading the law**

♋︎❍︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎✍︎✍︎✍︎✍︎✍︎✍︎✍︎ ♓︎ ♎︎□︎■︎⧫︎ ♒︎♋︎❖︎♏︎ ⧫︎□︎ ⧫︎♏︎●︎●︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ⬧︎♒︎♓︎⧫︎

🕈︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♐︎◆︎♍︎🙵✍︎✍︎

☟︎♋︎❒︎◆︎■︎♋︎ ⬥︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♐︎◆︎ ♍︎🙵 🙵

 

**eat my existential dread**

this is what u GET

 

**broke and nuggetless**

what the fuck,, is happening,,,,,

 

**eat my existential dread**

i changed his font to wingdings

 

**broke and nuggetless**

h,,how??????

 

**eat my existential dread**

thats for me to kno and for u to never find out!

 

**broke and nuggetless**

the fuck,,,

 

**mom friend**

What is going on here?

 

**useless lesbian**

akira invited a friend to the server

she made his font wingdings bc he didnt tell her he had a bf???????

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

fuccin wild

 

**mom friend**

Well then... Akira’s friend, could you please change his font back?

 

**eat my existential dread**

hmmmmmm

mayhaps

 

**evading the law**

☟︎♋︎❒︎◆︎■︎♋︎ ◻︎●︎ ♏︎ ♋︎ ⬧︎ ♏︎♏︎

 

**eat my existential dread**

damb fine w/e

 

 **hewwo bot** [BOT]

 _eat my existential dread_ ’s nickname has been changed to _fuccing gremlin_

 

**fuccin gremlin**

RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**evading the law**

youre rude stfu

 

**fuccin gremlin**

WYM??????? IM THE ONE WHO ALWAYS RETRIEVES YIUR WEIRS SHIT WHEN U ACCIDENTALLY DELETE IT?????

 

**evading the law**

nope dont remember it

 

**fuccing gremlin**

REN REN I AM NOT AFRAID TO COKMIT A _MUDER_

 

**evading the law**

muder

 

**fuccing gremlin**

IM GONNA TELL DAD

 

**evading the law**

hes not even ur dad??????????

 

**fuccing gremlin**

ya like u dont call my parents mom all the gotdamb time

 

**evading the law**

OUCH

 

**broke and nuggetless**

what..... is going ON......

 

**evading the law**

i hate my best friend i hate her so much

 

**fuccing gremlin**

eat my existential dread >:(((

 

**evading the law**

no

 

**fuccing gremlin**

i will change all your contacts to pictures of motherfucker

i will make your phone play nonstop megalovania

i will ruin you

 

**evading the law**

im crign blease futaba where are u i need you to save me

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

how

 

**evading the law**

talk nerd.... computer..... games...... hakcing....... anythring.........

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

uh????????????

horror games good y/n

 

**fuccing gremlin**

HELL YA SPOOKY

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

YES!!

makoto and ryuji are pussies and dont liek them and kira and yusuke are indiffernt

YUORE THE FIRST PERSON WHO ANSWERED YES

 

**fuccing gremlin**

HELL YEA

fave horror game GO

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

uhhhhh i like ib wbu

 

**fuccing gremlin**

ib good!! i like uhhhh fucking mad father?? mad father good

not actually necessarily my fave but i cant fuccin remember shit lmao

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

valid

 

**fuccing gremlin**

WAIT NO MY FAVE IS THE WITCHS HOUSE  
SOME GOOD ASS SHIT RIGHT THERE GOOD GAME

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

:00000 ya

good game

ALSO

 

**hewwo bot**

_fuccing gremlin_ ’s nickname has been changed to _cool kid_

 

**cool kid**

wow thanks

friendship ended w ren now tabas my new best friend

i can call u taba right

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

sure lmao

 

**cool kid**

hell ya

thats TWO friends i have now

 

**evading the law**

u kno????????? i feel like ive jsut made a terrible mistake

 

**cool kid**

hehehe

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

lmao

 

 _This is the beginning of your direct message history with_ **_@hacker voice im in_ **

 

**eat my existential dread**

hey

 

**hacker voice im in**

wassup

 

**eat my existential dread**

wanna prank ren ren w me

 

**hacker voice im in**

hell ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im back on my bullshit this time ft an oc bc my friends told me to do it  
> this follows canon but isnt really. changed much except that kagami is here she doesnt replace anyone or anything. so. ty for reading if u read, leave comments and kudos so that i may THRIVE.
> 
> key for wingdings-  
> am not??????? i dont have to tell you shit  
> WHAT THE FUCK??  
> HARUNA WHAT THE FU CK K  
> HARUNA PL E A S EE


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> akira - sick of ur bullshit // evading the law  
> ryuji - broke and nuggetless  
> ann - useless lesbian  
> futaba - hacker voice im in // rat is short for ratthew  
> makoto - mom friend  
> kagami - eat my existential dread // cool kid  
> yusuke - graphic design is my passion

_ #chicken-nugget-discourse _

 

**broke and nuggetless**

ok but like,,, who  _ is _ motherfucker

 

**useless lesbian**

???????

 

**broke and nuggetless**

kiras new friend

kagami???? i think her name was

said shed change all kiras contact photos to someone/thing called motherfucker

 

**useless lesbain**

hmm

 

**cool kid**

oh hes my cat

hes a real motherfucker

hence the name

 

**useless lesbian**

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
PICTURES PICTURES

 

**cool kid**

ok!!

babey.png

 

**useless lesbian**

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what a BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**cool kid**

yes!!!! hes the Ultimate Babey

 

**broke and nuggetless**

a real motherfucker

 

**cool kid**

yea!! ren ren hates him

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

rest in piss kira 😔😔😔😔

 

**cool kid**

ikr lmao

 

**useless lesbian**

akiras no longer valid goodnight

 

**mom friend**

It’s not even night??? It’s a whole 11 in the morning.

 

**cool kid**

shhhhhhhh do it for the meme

 

**mom friend**

I have no idea what that means.

 

**broke and nuggletless**

you hang out w me kira and futaba?? how the Hell do u not kno what that means

even yusuke memes

 

**useless lesbian**

he does?????????/

 

**broke and nuggetless**

hell ya he does lmao its fuckin WILD

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

i corrupted him!! its my fault!!

 

**useless lesbian**

you sound proud of that

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

i am!!

 

**cool kid**

lmao

 

**useless lesbian**

o ya!! u dont know yusuke do you

wanna meet him

 

**cool kid**

technically i dont rly kno any of you sides from ren ren

and sure w/e

 

**useless lesbian**

_ @graphic design is my passion _ and ya tru

 

**graphic design is my passion**

yea??

 

**useless lesbian**

hi yusuke!! we have a new person in the server

meet kagami

 

**cool kid**

yo

 

**graphic design is my passion**

hello, im yusuke

 

**cool kid**

ya ik

are you really a meme like ann says

 

**graphic design is my passion**

hm

i suppose i could be considered that???

 

**cool kid**

lit

we should exchange memes when we find the time

 

**graphic design is my passion**

perhaps

i must go now, my art needs me

 

**cool kid**

sayonara

 

**useless lesbian**

bye yusuke!!!

 

**mom friend**

Goodbye Yusuke.

 

**broke and nuggetless**

bye

 

**evading the law**

i cant believe i missed yusuke

this succs 😔😔

 

**cool kid**

succs to succ

 

**evading the law**

im also glad tho bc,, you being friends w him is Terrifying

 

**cool kid**

me befriending any of ur friends terrified u

pussy

 

**evading the law**

rightfully so smh

ur chaotic enough on ur own w/o the aid of my friends

 

**cool kid**

u say like im not ur friend :(

 

**evading the law**

i said no such thing

 

**cool kid**

hmmmmmm

  
  


_ @eat my existential dread _

 

**hacker voice im in**

the plan is Ready

shall i Initiate?

 

**eat my existential dread**

Yes

 

**hacker voice im in**

excellent...

  
  


_ #chicken-nugget-discourse _

 

**evading the law**

WHAT TEH FUCK

WHAT THE FUCHIKK

 

**useless lesbian**

what?? what happened

 

**evading the law**

I MA SOBBUBIGN

COTTOHN EYE JOE STARTED PLAYITNG FRON EVERYHTING W AUDIO IN LEBCALN

BOSS IS GONNA KILL ME

 

**broke and nuggetless**

c..cotton eye joe

 

**useless lesbian**

yikes rip akira

 

**cool kid**

lmao

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

lmao

 

**graphic design is my passion**

lmao

 

**cool kid**

wow i love yusuke

 

**graphic design is my passion**

thank you

 

**evading the law**

im.... whomst the FUCC palyed cotton eyd joe...........

actually???????? nvm i kno who

_ @cool kid _ @ _ rat is short for ratthew _ which one uf u fCUEKRS

 

**cool kid**

hehe

 

**rat is short fo rratthew**

hehehe

 

**evading the law**

>:(((

real shit where whCIH ONE OF YOU

 

**cool kid**

hehehehe

 

**evading the law**

🔫🔫🔫

 

**cool kid**

SCREAMS

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

PUT THE GUN DONW AKIRA

 

**evading the law**

NO   
TELL ME WHODUNNIT

 

**rat is short for ratthew**   
BE RATIOSNAL

 

**evading the law**

THERE IS NO RATIONAL IM ABT TO FUCKIGN DIE FROM BOSS

 

**cool kid**

succs to succ

 

**evading the law**

YOU

🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

 

**cool kid**

SCRE EAMS

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

SHIT FUC IT WA SME DONT SHOOT

 

**evading the law**

💥🔫

 

**rat is short for ratthew**

FUCK

 

**cool kid**

TABA N O!!!

REN REN HOEW COUDL YOU

 

**evading the law**

i did what i had to

 

**useless lesbian**

what??? the FUCK???? just happened

 

**graphic design is my passion**

what had to be done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> were back babey for chapter 2  
> ive now updated ALL of my fics!!! im gonna post one more fic (dont @ me) and then the cycle can begin again.... expect another update in 2 weeks or so lmao unless i decide to be merciful and update sooner  
> leave comments and kudos so that i may THRIVE

**Author's Note:**

> hi im back on my bullshit this time ft an oc bc my friends told me to do it  
> this follows canon but isnt really. changed much except that kagami is here she doesnt replace anyone or anything. so. ty for reading if u read, leave comments and kudos so that i may THRIVE.
> 
> key for wingdings-  
> am not??????? i dont have to tell you shit  
> WHAT THE FUCK??  
> HARUNA WHAT THE FU CK K  
> HARUNA PL E A S EE


End file.
